kickin' rocks

This one hits close to home, for some.

Ahh, the holidays. Here it comes, the snow, the sweaters, the presents, the food... the fam...ily...?

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Christmas is going to be a little different for me this year. For the past 24 years of my life I have had the blessing of waking up on Christmas day to my Dad coming busting in my room at 6:00 AM shouting "IT'S CHRISTMAS!!! GET YOUR BUTT DOWNSTAIRS" like a little kid, and my Mom downstairs attempting to make bacon (she's a terrible cook, sorry mama).
This year will not be the case. No, it's not unfortunate. It's not sad either. Just... Different.
As I am sure some may know already, my parents parted ways this year and we have all had to learn how to grow independently without relying on one another as a family. It has been a work in progress, and watching all of this happen as an adult has been one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced in my entire life. 
Honestly, I thought it would have been easier because I can understand both sides. Maybe that is one of the reasons why it has been so hard, though. 
I guess given that I had gone through a tough break up last year, I thought yeah, I can totally relate to both of them. Ending a long term relationship is shitty. I guess I never expected it to happen to them.

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Since I have moved out on my own, I have come to terms that I have in a way, ran away from my problems. It's not that I disliked living with my dad, or did not want to move in with my mom, rather I felt it was time for me to gain independence and try to move forward with my life.
Downside?
I started to push family aside as a second priority. Even though I still love both of my parents equally, I felt like if I stayed away from them and embodied my own life that my thoughts on their separation would just go away. Negatory, Richelle. 
​It slapped me in the face.

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When I got my tattoo on my foot last summer, I got it with intention that family will always come first for me and that no matter what, they will always hold a spot in my heart. ​Familie for Evig, Family for eternity, is a belief that I was raised on. You know, sometimes we forget what our values are in life. But this weekend I was noticing this big black anchor with script on my foot and it hit close to home - I felt so guilty. Being that guilt doesn't fly with me, I was happy to attend a family meeting held at my mom's place yesterday evening where we were able to bring these values back to life - even though our family has taken a step away from one another, I know that we will always remain as one love... one family. 

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Moving forward with my life I will be holding accountability to myself to make time for family - and I encourage you all to do the same. Whether your family is still together or if your family is 'broken', be sure to make that time this Christmas to show them how much you love them, whoever your family may be, because you never know what you've got until it's gone.

<3