It’s another beautiful day here in the west end of Vancouver. As I sit with my feet up on the couch after a decent leg workout, I find myself swirling with thoughts on my departure from Vancouver in a mere nine days. Why am I leaving this city?
It was just over eight months ago when I decided to drop my entire life in Kelowna and move down to Vancouver for what was supposed to be a month, but turned into eight. I didn’t think I would be in the position that I am now, wondering what my life will be like again in the Okanagan. I will definitely admit that I swore to myself that I would never move back yet here we are. It’s not that I didn’t love the Okanagan, I really do. There was a lot of negative energy that resonated in Kelowna that I needed to remove myself from and allow my inner-self to heal.
Eight months in this city… I didn’t even make it a year. I have absolutely zero regrets moving down here, I will say that. Vancouver has been an incredible city to grow in personally and professionally, although I will admit that I couldn’t stay afloat. The city is extremely expensive. Vancouver is a lot. When asked how ‘the city’ is, my response has always been along the lines of “Vancouver is crazy”. No, for better measure, Vancouver is insane. My life is psychotic, and it doesn’t stop. I was on the up and up for a great amount of time and to be honest, I couldn’t keep up with myself. Sure, I was growing so much professionally and learning how to manage my own business as a leader, but my inner soul was left behind. Far, far behind. It pains me so much to say that Vancouver stole my spirit, but in ways it certainly has. The craziness of the city took away my happiness and replaced it with eagerness, drive and relentlessness that kept me on what you could even say… an adrenaline high… but I wasn’t happy.
I made up my mind I’d say about a month ago that I needed to move back, but my love for my job was greater than my desire to move back to a city that is somewhat at a standstill. What would I even do in Kelowna, I thought. Resume undergrad degree in Sociology at UBC? Start something new? Do nothing? I wasn’t entirely sure what my options were. When I went home a couple weeks ago though, it was absolutely crystal clear to me. When I was coming off of the connector down into West Kelowna and I saw the tip of Okanagan Lake I thought “well fuck me, right?”. I knew.
Parting ways with my job here felt like I was breaking up with the love of my life. I LOVE my job. I still do. In a perfect world, I’d do exactly what I’m doing in Kelowna, although I know that’s not exactly available to me at the moment, and that’s okay. I look at it this way; I’m only 26. I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I don’t have any dependents in my life in any which way. Why NOT move home. This is a perfect opportunity to bandage up what I ran away from and feel like I finally have a fresh start. Finally.
I have absolutely no idea what the future holds, I am not closing any doors, I am going in completely open-minded and whole-hearted back to my roots. I don’t have any remorse leaving Vancouver, although I’ll be sad to leave the people I have met behind. All I can say to these past eight months is I’m extremely thankful. To those who have donated their time, their hospitality, their love, their friendship, and their accountability to me, I am forever in debt to you. It’s been real, Van City.
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